Saturday, October 16, 2004

I'm back... I hope

It's been two months since I've written. I'm now in the full swing of fall. And with this season comes cooler temperatures, breezy & rainy days, bold-colored leaves littering the base of nearly bare trees, the comfort of hot drinks & warm comforters. Driving to Holland for work I pass fields of pumpkins next to roadside fruit stands selling cider & bushels of apples. Driving home I pass a campground smelling of bonfires.

"These are a few of my fav-or-ite things."

But with this season also brings great loss and sadness for a lot of people. My heart cries with accusations to God of "Why?" & "How could you?" & "Why didn't you protect or heal or raise the dead?" In seasons like this, when there's so much turmoil going on in the hearts and lives of friends and family, I see an image of God restraining himself. Restraining himself when he knows he has to let go and see his children suffer and hurt. Restraining himself while His son is beaten and hung to die on a cross. We are meaning-seeking people. There must be a reason, a purpose. He sees the greater jigsaw puzzle, while we're left with missing pieces. I can't see it right now and I just don't understand. So my heart aches. And God, is both restraining & embracing.

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