Thursday, August 21, 2008

a mother's birthday

So I woke up kinda grumpy on my 32nd birthday this morning. What kind of birthday can I have as mother of a one year old? Last year was different; My son was only 2 months old and I was still in the newborn-honeymoon-stage. But now it's a year later and while I love my son to pieces, I just wanted a day off for my birthday. I kept asking my husband - don't they have "take your child to work" days? No, I guess it wouldn't be appropriate for him to have his toddler with him while he's counseling addicts and felons (he's a rehab counselor). If I can't have the day off for my birthday, I'll try to reason with my son... Son, it's my birthday, you're supposed to lie still when I change your diaper; Son, it's my birthday, you're not supposed to throw your breakfast all over the kitchen floor and walls. Son, didn't Daddy give you the memo? It's my birthday, you're supposed to go right down for your nap, no fuss. I even tried to reason with the kitties... no, Frankie, I'm not letting you outside, which he responded with, "meow, meow, meow, meow, meow" on and on and on and on and annoyingly on until finally I gave in and let him out and told him, "fine, go out, run and frolic and eat grass til you puke but you better not get hit by a car because I don't want a dead cat on my birthday. And while you're out, poop outside because it's my birthday and I don't want to clean the litter box on my birthday.

But as the day went on, something happened inside of me. Rocking my son, reading him books, and holding his snuggly warm body against mine, I thought, what more could I possibly want for my birthday? After his nap I put on my favorite tunes and we danced and danced and danced in the living room. He giggled and I sang and we swayed and twirled and b-bopped (and he burped LOUDLY) until I was too tired to go on. When have I had a dance partner so delighted in me? This is joy.

So tomorrow afternoon, after work, I get some time off. I'm going to Barnes and Noble and getting a yummy treat at the cafe and buying some books for my birthday. I'm really looking forward to it. But I also know, it will be nice to come home to my husband and son. They're the best parts about me. And I'm grateful.