Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Summer of hope

Two more days & I’m a free woman! No more working every Saturday & Sunday, no more work schedule that changes weekly, no more minimum wage, no more commuting an hour five days/week, no more smiling sweetly even when customers are insulting & rude, no more shelving porn, no more working 40 hours/week on my feet, pushing heavy carts and carrying boxes full of magazines. Yep, you guessed it, I put in my 2 weeks notice at B&N & I have 2 more days left. I’m investing full time into Rob & I’s counseling practice, Sacred Space Counseling. I’ll be spending my time marketing, networking, advertising, running groups & workshops, writing & hopefully taking on new clients. I’m still on the lookout for a counseling job in an agency or school as well but my main focus will be on building our practice. I feel so blessed that we can do this. And who knows what will come of it. We’re doing it on a trial basis for the summer. If come fall, nothing has come of it, I’m back to B&N or some other job. But we’re praying that God will bless this time and the future of our practice.

I really need this break. I need time to rest, to exercise, to connect with myself & with others. I look forward to going to church on a regular basis, getting connected again with our Life Group, hanging out with friends & family. Building & strengthening friendships has gone to the wayside and I can really feel the lack of that in my life. I hope the end of B&N will be a stress-reliever for me. It’s not like the job itself was incredibly stressful. It was just the fact that after awhile, I didn’t want to be there. I felt held back. I felt stuck. I felt frustrated. I felt unhappy. I felt like the things that are important to me had to be pushed on the backburner & for what? B&N? Well, no, for the money, for the insurance. I wasn’t working there for nothing. There were some great perks – the discount, staying up with the latest book, music & movie releases, the free mags. I will miss those things. And there are a couple people that I’d like to stay in touch with from the store after I leave. But it was stressful for me to be in a place where I wasn’t able to make steps towards my future and my dreams. I feel really blessed that we can do this now. I know it's an incredible priviledge & I hope what I do with this time will honor that. I’m excited to see what God’s going to do.