Saturday, January 20, 2007

Strange Season

What a strange season this is for me. Four months pregnant and I am preparing for what will most likely be the most important role of my life. So much change is going on inside of me – in my womb, in my heart, in my mind, in my spirit. And yet this has been such a season of solitude, rest, and quiet. I don't think I'll ever have another season like it once Baby Boo is born.

First trimester is over and the weeks are going faster now. I can't believe I'm at 17 weeks already! I feel less anxious about miscarriage or whether Baby Boo will be healthy. I'm beginning to show more now and feel such a sense of pride and joy in that.

This life is growing inside of me and its given me a whole new perspective of my body. Up until now, I've wanted nothing but to hide my body in shame and fear and disgust. Now I carry my body with pride. My body is full of life. I love being pregnant. I'm so thankful that God has called me to be a mother.

I've noticed another huge change within me since I found out I was pregnant... it's like my past has fallen away from me. Not forgotten, no, never forgotten, nor does it need to be. But for so long, my past has been this heavy chain I drag with me. Then I became pregnant and suddenly the chain broke. I've been so past-oriented and now Baby Boo has turned me towards the future. I'm so grateful for that.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Here I am!

So I've hit the 15 weeks mark, which, I hear from several women that was the magic week for them where they started feeling better. I'm still pretty tired and nauseous throughout the day. Will I feel this way my whole pregnancy?
I attempted a pregnancy yoga/pilates video today and couldn't make it through. I took a walk instead this afternoon - it was bitter cold - but snow flakes were falling and it was quite beautiful.
I feel so out of shape and I know I have 6 more months but I'm worried I won't be "up for" a natural labor. I hope I start having more energy soon so I can get into better shape.