Monday, July 27, 2009
little hands, big heart
I dropped my son off at his grandparents this morning on my way to work. As I'm driving away I look back at the front door and there is my son watching me leave - waving to me, blowing me kisses. He's not crying. He's not sad. He's just saying goodbye. And I know that when he can't see me anymore he will be perfectly happy and will just go back to playing with his beloved grandparents. But in that moment, at the door, as I wave back to him and blow kisses back to him, I realize how much I MATTER to my son. Not only does he hold my Momma heart in his hands, I hold his little boy heart in my hands. This love between my son and I is like nothing I've ever experienced before. It's both terrifying and awesome to be THAT important to another... This whole other who grew inside my tummy; who I had to let go after all those months, so he could be born and live and breath on his own. Every day since there is a letting go. But this morning... I got to hold on as we said goodbye. Such a heavy, precious weight his heart is in my hands.