Monday, January 02, 2006

Happy New Year!

I enter into 2006 hopeful about the coming year. I enter in with dreams and goals - for our counseling practice, for losing weight & exercising consistently, for getting on a better sleep schedule, for writing more, for completing an internship so I can pursue licensure, for permanantly moving on from Barnes & Noble & getting a counseling job, for growing in relationship with my husband, with family & friends, with God.

You are not safe, God, but You are Good. Help me to trust You for this coming year. Please protect & bless my loved ones with Your presence. I think of that scene in the Lion, the Witch, & the Wardrobe movie where the lion is walking down the beach, away from the party. And I'm little Lucy watching him leave & tears are streaming down my face because I feel abandoned & I don't understand why He can't stay, why He won't stay. I just want to be with Him. And I realize, those times I rebel against Him, those times I fight Him & turn my back on Him & doubt Him, it's because of all those times, I've had to watch Him (or others) walk away from me.

Most endings aren't safe - full of pain, sadness, regret, longing, loss, lack of closure. But in the midst of it all, He is good. I hold onto that. I want to understand more what that means this year.

May this be a year of creativity, growth & healing.

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