Friday, September 16, 2005

Dependent Personality Disorder

I resist complete dependence on God. Is He trustworthy? Does He have my best interests at heart? He's wild & untamed but is He good? Husband and I have been talking about what it would mean to live our life in such a way that we're more dependent on God. If we believe God has called us to be counselors, then should we pursue this wholeheartedly, forsaking everything else? Should Husband quit the coffee shop (our only real source of income, apart from a few clients here & there) & go full time with me into building our practice? Would God then show up & provide for us? And yet we're supposed to be responsible as well... we need to pay our bills, we need health insurance, etc. etc. etc. This is where we get stuck. How do we be "responsibly dependent"?

We don't risk enough in our lives, in our careers, in our relationships. We don't put ourselves in circumstances where we will not be able to go on without God. We're not on our knees because we've built our life so that we don't need to be. And that scares me. I don't want to have to lose everything (or anything for that matter) for me to "need" God.

We need wisdom in this area. Any thoughts?

1 comment:

weniki93 said...

Jen, good to see that you are blogging again. I have not been as diligent as I have in past due to new job and all. My only words of wisdom, if you could call it that (such a fine line between wisdom and foolishness :) ) is that in my observation of people, the most successful seem to be those who frequently venture out of their comfort zone. You could say that that allows one to depend on God, you could say that it stretches the parameters of your comfort zone further. And you can take that little nugget and do what you want with it. Best wishes!