I was rocking my baby girl earlier this evening. She had been crying, overtired, having a hard time settling down. Rocking her was finally calming her. Her body was getting still and heavy against mine. I looked down, expecting to see her eyes closed, and was surprised to see them wide open! I was impatient, my mind racing with all the things I needed and wanted to do this evening - clean, conversations with my husband, check facebook, work on birth announcements, write thank you notes, eat cookies, read, etc. And yet here she was, still awake and yet so content, so relaxed just being rocked in my arms. How far away I've been from you, my little girl. When this is what matters. You are what matters. Right here and right now is the only place I need to be - want to be - for as long as you need it.
This week she is 6 weeks. Before I know it, she will be 6 months, 6 years, 16 years (Lord help me with the teenage years!) And I will long for these early weeks of rocking and holding and nursing and the warmth and closeness they provide for both of us. Looking down at my daughter again, this time her eyes were closed. But this time, I wasn't in a hurry to stop rocking her and put her to bed. What a gift to rock this warm, snuggly, relaxed little one. Another one that I have been entrusted with - with their life, their heart, their soul. I am reminded how important it is to be present with this little one, to allow her and our time together to affect me. To allow the rocking to calm me, silence my racing thoughts, and put me more in touch with the precious gift of right now. How important it is to give that to not only our children but to all of our loved ones, for as long as they need it.