Tuesday, July 20, 2004


A fact of life: people come & go in our lives. But do they ever really leave us? Sure, we may not be in touch for years; we may never see them again, but are they still with us? On our hearts, in our thoughts, locked within our bodies? What will it take to set them free, to set ourselves free? Do certain people stay with us despite an active present relationship because the relationship had no clear-cut ending or a lack of closure? Because it's still left undone despite years of disconnect? If you were given the opportunity to connect with people that are in your life no more, but were once an important part of your life, would you? What would you say that you always wished you could say? What if we could clear up the regrets we have in our life. What if we were blessed by someone in our past giving us their gift of forgiveness? What if we were more free to move into our present relationships with more authenticity and courage and vulnerability because we finally found closure from past relationships & past wounds that hold us back?

Perhaps God puts people on our mind and in our heart for a reason. Why are there people from my past, people I haven't been in touch with for 5 or 10 years, who I can't get out of my mind? And why today & yesterday and this past week have they so consumed my thoughts? I can't know for sure until I move forward and connect with these people. But how scary is that! How vulnerable that makes me feel. I don't know the response I'll get & I can't control that. That's the key word - control. The very thing I so need to let go of in so many aspects of my life.

Do people do this? Do they just call someone from their past out of the blue one day to say I'm sorry or how are you or I don't know why I'm calling but you've been on my mind? And if God has put these people on my mind for a particular reason, why couldn't He have put ME on the minds of these people so THEY would be the ones to make the first step? That would be so much easier! But I'm not necessarily called to what's easy. I need out of my comfort zones. It feels so dangerous but I know it could lead to great healing and freedom.

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